Bitter Old Bi**h!

Yep! That's me. I gotta say. . . . I am beyond sick and tired of this deadbeat dad! Two years ago, the courts ordered my daughter's father to pay child support after he decided to walk away from her at 12 years of age. Was I glad he walked away? Yes, very glad. He was verbally, mentally, and physically abusive to my daughter and it took 12 years to get the courts to see it. She was suicidal and in therapy. I now have full physical and legal custody, and he has zero visitation. Therefore, the courts decided it was fair for him to pay child support. He has managed to work (occasionally) and pay some of it here and there. Never consistently and never in full. I have not hounded him for it, or pushed the state to seek further actions to enforce the order. I would be happy if he just paid half of it! And, no, it's not thousands of dollars a month. It's just a few hundred. Long story short, he hadn't paid anything since September 2015. Just this week I received an email informing me there has been a payment posted to my account. I logged in to look at it. It was for $1.26. Really!?!?! Come on!! 

As of March first, he will owe over $4000 and at this point, child support services can go for it. They will intercept his refund, suspend his license, freeze his bank account, and the list of things they can do to collect goes on and gets more disturbing. I do not rely on his support and whatever we get goes directly to my child (clothes, extra curricular lessons, savings account, etc). 

Moral of the story: If you are ordered to pay child support, it's because you have a responsibility to help pay for the upbringing of YOUR child. And, whether you see that child or not, they still exist! AND. . . If you choose not to pay it, don't come crying to me when the state nails your a**!!

Ok. . . I'm done. 

You Can't Fix Bitter!!

Super sad news yesterday. The mother of one of my coworkers passed away. It was not sudden or unexpected. She was very sick and they knew the time was coming. Here's the problem. This lady was not close to her mother at all. In fact, she told me she hated her and could wait for her to die. That is just sad in itself.  When she told me this, I tried to reason with her. I asked her if she could put her issues aside and just try to make her mother's last days peaceful. After all, this woman/mother wasn't a horrible person, she just wasn't as supportive as the co-worker would have liked her to be. The answer was a definite no. It was only about a week until I walked into work and heard the mother was in a coma and on life support. The co-worker was in her classroom. All of a sudden, as soon as people started to arrive for work, my coworker burst into hysterical fits of tears. Completely distraught over her mother's impending demise. She quickly arranged for someone to cover her classroom and left as quickly as she could. The next day, her mother passed.

Here is where my brain bubble is stuck. Maybe it's just me, but is it too much to ask someone to put their feelings aside when a family member they Little or no relationship with is terminally ill? Those visits before passing are the last times they would see them in has life time. I totally get it, if the person was a major abuser, then of course, there may be no hope there. But, because of an argument or hard feelings brought on during childhood, can they not be put aside or even forgiven? Maybe I am too forgiving? What do you think?

UPDATE: The coworker has returned to work this morning. Her mother just passed yesterday. And here she is. . . Just smiling and enjoying her morning, as if nothing happened. I conveyed my condolences to her. She shrugged it off. I don't get it! Maybe it's me??? Yea. . . It has to be just me. 🤔