BOOBIES!!!!

My brain has been all consumed by my boobs today. Get ready to get personal and probably TMI. I am really large busted and I gotta say I am so sick of the hazards caused by my chest! If something falls into my shirt, I can guarantee I won't find it again for hours! I especially hate when food falls in. It's like having a built in snack machine!! No. . . I don't really eat it. My boobs also serve as a shelf and catch all. I could probably put a drink on my boobs and it would be perfectly fine. It also catches soup. I don't know what is about soup, but it just has to drip and live on my boob. It is so annoying! Not to mention they are a total work hazard! My younger students and the toddlers have a habit of using them as hand rests. And bras! Oh my hell!! Since I had my daughter, my boobs look like pancakes with bugged out eyes. Therefore, a push up bra is required by state (of my mind) law. The only good thing about the bra is there is so much padding, I could be freezing to death and no one would ever know! Other than that, the padding is like having a whole extra boob in each cup. I will never ever see my feet while I'm dressed. Plus, the padding shoves my boobs up so high, I feel like they are right under my chin . . . Literally. I could put my head down and rest my chin on my cleavage! I totally envy people with B & C cups! Well. . . This whole thing makes me sound absolutely nuts, but I hope someone out there can relate to my issue!